Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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