i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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