so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I party with great urgency now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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