I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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