You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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