at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize