Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize