I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Two words: nipple clamps
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