This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
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its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
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I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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