just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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