She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize