honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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