its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
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Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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