I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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