Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize