PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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