SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize