Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize