I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
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It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize