singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize