We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
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Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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