I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Found your dick twin last night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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