Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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