We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize