Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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