Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize