I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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