So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
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I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
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I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize