If that was your dad, he is hot
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
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He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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