So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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