You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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