The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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