I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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