Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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