the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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