So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize