i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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