She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
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I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
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She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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