he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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