yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize