it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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