I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
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My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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