Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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