I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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