She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
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You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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