Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize