What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
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Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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