He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize