Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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