its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
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Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
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Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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