I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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