What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
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The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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